


you should live twice in it, and in my rhyme

by MayWilder



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Buck Does Not, Eddie Loves Halloween, Friends With Benefits, Halloween, Happy Ending, Haunted Houses, M/M, Post-Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:53:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27355303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayWilder/pseuds/MayWilder
Summary: Buck had never realized sex could be so good between two people, emotionally. Sure, he loved Abby and really loved being with her, but it was never like this. He knows its not for everyone, and sex means something different to every person who does or doesnt have it, but he and Eddie have been able to heal because they crossed all these boundaries and gave Eddie the opportunity to relearn their emotional vulnerability while they physically gave each other everything.It’s been incredible, honestly.But it hasn’t been enough.Buck can’t stand it anymore. He’s not going to give any kind of ultimatum because that’s not fair to Eddie, but he can’t keep going like this because it isn’t fair to him. He has to tell Eddie how he feels, how much he wants, before he spends another night next to Eddie. He’s just gotta make it perfect.Thus, poetry by Shakespeare on Halloween. Eddie’s two favorite things.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 217
Collections: Buddie Trick or Treat





	you should live twice in it, and in my rhyme

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nobruisesonherego](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nobruisesonherego/gifts).



> So I am the worst and am two days late for this Halloween discord event! To my gift-ee, I am SO SORRY and please forgive me. Life and work have left me very little opportunity and I did not plan enough. I hope you like this little fic, and give all my love for how you waited! 
> 
> (poem belongs to shakespeare)

“You’re going to do what now?”

Buck rolls his eyes as he pulls into the fire station, wishing his sister could see his face. 

“I said, I’m going to tell Eddie how I feel with a poem. While we’re in a dark, sexy corner of the haunted house. He loves Halloween, more than normal people should I may add, and he loves poetry. It’s perfect, you know?”

Maddie doesn’t seem convinced (if her tone is anything to go by) when she says “Whatever you say, Buck." Buck doesn’t care, though, because he’s going to make sure that everything goes smoothly. His best friend has been begging Buck to go to this haunted house all month (“Please, Buck, I can’t take Chris, you know that!”) and what better day than Halloween? Buck can envision it now: they’re coming off the high of a jump scare, Buck tucked into Eddie’s side and trying to catch his breath. It’ll be dark, with just enough light to see each other’s lips by, and Buck will reach for his best friend. They’ll fall into the song and dance they’ve had for some time now, where their kisses that are supposed to be just about releasing tension and feeling the touch of another person turn into something else. He’ll hear one of Eddie’s little sighs, the ones that make Buck’s head swim because he’s the one making Eddie feel all content and happy. 

When they started this thing between them, Buck was already so in love he sometimes nauseated himself. Eddie was still a little distrustful coming off the lawsuit, and while things were good they weren’t right. They weren’t them. After a six pack and a few games of Mario Kart, Eddie confessed that he didn’t know how to bridge the gap between his latent frustration and his want for them to be close again. He needed them to be close again. 

Buck still remembers the ache in his chest at Eddie’s words, and how he wanted nothing more than to fix everything and give them something that let them be physically close without things being too emotional. And so, like an idiot, he kissed Eddie and said they could be as close as they needed. 

Somehow, it worked. Eddie kissed him back and they started this thing, where sex became a way for them to connect without Eddie feeling the need to pull back. It was a door for them to be vulnerable with each other, the ultimate statement of comfort. A few weeks in, in the afterglow of a particularly athletic fuck, Eddie had started talking about his feelings of failure when it came to Chris. The time after that, Buck got to listen as he worked through whether or not he was allowed to be angry with Shannon, and he even let Buck offer some advice. 

Buck had never realized sex could be so good between two people, emotionally. Sure, he loved Abby and really loved being with her, but it was never like this. He knows its not for everyone, and sex means something different to every person who does or doesnt have it, but he and Eddie have been able to heal because they crossed all these boundaries and gave Eddie the opportunity to relearn their emotional vulnerability while they physically gave each other everything. 

It’s been incredible, honestly.

But it hasn’t been enough. 

Look, Buck loves what he and Eddie have, okay? It’s just that lately, Buck is losing his grip on reality. He and Eddie aren’t in a relationship. They have sex, sometimes makeout for the hell of it, but they aren’t in a relationship. Eddie made that clear the first time. They’re best friends, who hang out all the time and take Chris to dinner or to theme parks or on a camping trip where the three of them enjoy nothing but each other’s company and s’mores for three days straight. They work together and sleep in the same bed almost every night and work on school projects for Eddie’s son who calls Buck “my Bucky” and- 

They aren’t a couple. They aren’t partners in that way. So Buck feels like he’s getting all of Eddie except that last little smidge of something more he craves every morning when he wakes up next to Eddie’s dopey smile as he asks if Buck will make pancakes _because its Saturday and Chris loves them and he’s gonna ask anyway._

Buck can’t stand it anymore. He’s not going to give any kind of ultimatum because that’s not fair to Eddie, but he can’t keep going like this because it isn’t fair to him. He has to tell Eddie how he feels, how much he wants, before he spends another night next to Eddie. He’s just gotta make it perfect. 

Thus, poetry by Shakespeare on Halloween. Eddie’s two favorite things. 

He walks into the station in a good mood, hopeful that tonight will, at the very least, bring the truth to surface and break the final boundary between them 

**)-(**

Okay. This is creepier than Buck thought. He’s already screamed six times, jumped on Eddie’s back twice, and hid his face in Eddie’s neck every three seconds for the past twenty minutes. He’s on the lookout for one zombie in particular, who is around every corner Buck turns and has to be following Buck personally. 

“Buck,” Eddie laughs when Buck says it out loud, since he’s psycho, you know). “He is not following us, they all have their own areas to stick to.”

“Then I want out of this area because he’s got a vendetta against me.”

“Awe, poor Buck,” Eddie says. “Come here, Eddie will protect you.”

Buck doesn’t hesitate, taking the offer despite the mocking way it was delivered. He wraps his arms around Eddie’s torso, ducking his head so he can hide his face. “You’re insane, you know that? A Halloween freak.”

“Yeah, but I’m your Halloween freak, right?”

Buck smiles at that, pulling back his head to look at Eddie. He wants to pout because the low light means he can’t see those stupidly handsome features, aside from the whites of his eyes and the outline of his lips-

_Ohmygod this is the perfect place._

There’s a cackle in the background, and the sound of bats flying overhead, but Buck steels himself against his nerves and stands a little straighter. “Eddie.”

“Buck…” Eddie replies, almost concerned. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I want to tell you something,” he pushes forward. “About me. Or about you, I guess.”

Eddie steps closer, so that Buck can smell that damned Irish Spring Eddie uses as shampoo on top of body wash (unacceptable, Buck can’t believe he’s in love with this man) and his stomach does that stupid thing. He can’t help but lean down and kiss Eddie, cupping his face and tasting the powdered sugar from their shared funnel cake earlier. The sweetness paired with Eddie’s little sigh nearly sends Buck into cardiac arrest. 

Then, just as Buck is going to pull away and speak the sonnet he memorized, Eddie deepens the kiss. Rough hands grip Buck’s hips and pull them flush against each other. Buck gets lost in it all, ignores the shrieks from down the hall and the booming rumble of fake thunder in favor of pressing Eddie into the nearest wall and enjoying the hitch in Eddie’s breath. He always feels so good, skin hot to the touch like a furnace that lights Buck up like nobody ever before. 

He needs to focus, so he pulls his lips away and searches for the first words of the poem. 

While Eddie licks and kisses down his throat. “ _Who will….who will believe my verse_ \- fuck, Eds - _who will believe my verse in time to come_ -”

Eddie squeezes Buck’s hips, bites into his pulse point and noses along Buck’s jaw. “ _If it were filled with your most high deserts?_ ”

Buck’s throat goes dry. “ _Though yet heaven knows it but as a tomb, which hides your life, and shows not half your parts_.” 

Eddie is smiling against Buck’s throat, and he tilts his chin up to press kisses on his jaw. 

Buck keeps going. 

“ _If I could write the beauty of your eye, and in_ f-fuck, _and in fresh numbers number all your graces…_ ” Buck trails off and kisses Eddie because he can’t help it. He’s trembling all over, further sinking into their bubble and realizing nothing matters except for Eddie and the way he sinks into Buck as if they could just merge into one right there. “Fuck, Eddie I can’t remember it all, you’re so distracting.”

“It’s okay,” Eddie murmurs, pressing a quick kiss to Buck’s lips. It only lasts a few seconds, but it's hot and hard and leaves Buck’s mind reeling as he presses his forehead to Eddie’s. 

Eddie, who slides his hand up Buck’s chest and whispers, “ _If I could write the beauty of your eyes, snf in fresh numbers number all your graces, the age to come would say ‘this poet lies; such heavenly touches ne’er touched earthly faces_.’”

Buck’s eyes sting and he smooths his thumb over Eddie’s cheekbone. “I suck at memorizing things.”

“I know,” Eddie laughs, breathlessly. “You tried, though.”

“I wanted this to be perfect, but now I can’t for the life of me remember the rest and I just...I love you, Eddie. And not in the way you think, I love you and I want every morning to mean something and I want to take our kid trick or treating tomorrow, and I want him to be our kid, and for us to be us, but more, and I thought if I took you out and recited poetry that you might...I don't know, consider wanting the same thing.”

“Buck,” Eddie breathes. He wraps his arms around Buck now, in a tight hug that Buck relishes in. “Evan, I don’t even have to consider it. I want those things, and I thought you knew that.”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah, dumbass. Ever since I asked you to stay, said you didn’t have to sneak out before Chris woke up. You asked if I was sure, and I said I wanted you to stay. I thought that since then, we’ve had an understanding. No labels maybe, but that stuff that you want to mean something? God, it means everything. I thought we were on the same page.”

Buck tucks his head in embarrassment, laughing at himself. “Oh my god.”

“Oh my god, indeed.” Eddie laughs. He leans back to give Buck a soft kiss, one where he does that fucking sigh and Buck feels dumb for not realizing what that sigh really meant all along. “You wanna leave? Go pick up Chris and get some ice cream?”

“We can finish if you want-”

“Buck.”

He laughs. “Okay. Yes, I would love that.”

“Good. I know a quick way out.”

“You’ve been here before?”

“Last week, with Karen.”

“Then why did you ask me to go?!”

“You’re not the only one who thought of making out in a dark corner of this place, babe.”

Buck grins, takes Eddie’s hands, and walks out feeling on top of the world. 


End file.
